How to pursue happiness.

Two years ago I discovered I was living in a world with rules created by other people. I felt like I was dead inside. For the third time I was told by someone, I (thought) I loved, the love was gone. My finances were crap. My career planning was a mess and my inner child was seriously injured. I stopped talking to people, stopped eating and stopped contacting family. And just that because a guy didn't want you anymore? Nah, I think I was already on a verge of a nervous breakdown and that was the straw that broke the camel's back (In Dutch: de druppel die de emmer deed overlopen). I can go on and on about what I did wrong but I rather choose for the happy ending.:) How did I manage to find my inner child again? Simple, I chose happiness. Happiness is a choice. YOU are the one who allows people to talk you down. YOU are the one who allows others to treat you bad. YOU are the one who makes good but also bad decisions. But you can't always succeed. We also need to fail so we can learn from our mistakes. So we can learn when to say no to situations which can hurt us and embrace the little things we enjoy to celebrate life.^^

This is an old blogpost I once wrote on my old blog but to remind myself what my goals are I will repost it again. Normally I don't reread my posts because they might be too silly, boring or embarrassing. But to my own opinion this was one of my best posts I ever wrote because it was inspired by a man I admired for years, Professor Arnold Heertje. There are four men I really admire who are not related to me. Professor Heertje is the only one who is still alive and not celestial.XD

A while ago I went to a lecture of Professor Heertje, former economics professor at the university of Amsterdam, on his book 'Echte economie' (real economy). When I was still a puppy I read some of his articles, I admired his point of view on social economic problems in our society. So it was kind of a dream come true to meet him. He even took time to talk to me, I was in heaven for a few minutes.^^ I haven't read his book yet (cause I'm waiting till it's my turn to borrow the book at the library cause I'm a cheap bastard ^^) but we share the same passion for economics. The thing is that the economy we know it became too financial. Of course you need money to realise your dreams in life but don't see them as short term projects. Actually you should think about how your finacial plans are going to affect you grand children. I know this sounds geeky but some years ago I was saving for my kid's college fund. No, I'm not that kind of woman who desperately wants kids. If God doesn't want me to have kids that would be actually awesome. I have enough kids at school to take care of. I even wanted to save for my future pet's medical bills. Yes, that's even more insane IMO.XD

Professor Heertje said the economy shouldn't destroy our heritage and culture. At the beginning I thought the Frisians were a bunch of hill billies with a weird dialect but now I kind of love the Frisians and am proud to say I'm an import Frisian.XD I even want to learn the language (yes, it's an official language). There is a we-feeling you don't find a lot in The Netherlands, even not in the world. Ow and don't forget my other three cultures, Dutch and Vietnamese.^^

Education is the key point to our economy. You should never stop learning. He says education has become so crap because teachers aren't well educated in their subject. He picked out the second grade teacher chemistry education .... Great, I'm studying that. He said the students only have one chemistry book and 6 books about how to handle your pupils when they fall asleep (that's my joke, I kind of forgot what he said). Teachers became some kind of sex ed specialists. I'm not but my pupils think I am. Bunch of little pervs! He said teachers have burn-outs because they lost their passion in their subjects. They focus too much on maintaining discipline in the class. I never had real discipline problems in my class cause you really shouldn't piss me off cause I already silenced some kids. No I didn't kill them. I just talked to them after class. Yes, it would really be a problem if you can't maintain discipline in your class. What if you can't controle the kids? What can you achieve with your teacher's degree then? Not much. Well, he has a point their. I do have a lot of passion for my subject and if I get deaf and can't hear the children I can't always work in a lab or in business.

He also talked about greedy managers, destroying our society and economics. Managers only think about profit and negotiating behind closed doors. Professor Heertje pleads for an integrated decision-making. Involve the consumer or the product in the process to minimize future problems. He gave a solution and especially for eduction:

Overview ---> Insight ---> Courage

First overview the situation. Overview means knowing what you don't know cause things you already know you don't have to focus on at the first place. Insight, use the knowledge. Courage, feel the courage to change the situation. Even though we are in deep trouble there's still a way out. I thought this was really good. I can use this solution for my Christian life, study, love life, family life and social life. Overview, insight and courage is the same as believe, hope and love. Love is the most important of all as the corps officer once said, love will concur all. Rock on, rock on.XD

During the break I had a conversation with a college teacher. She doesn't teach at my school but she agreed with professor Heertje that the quality of the exams are bad. Because managers tell her to lower the norms for tough exams so more students pass the exams and graduate. I think schools get €10.000,- per graduated student. So you can understand why schools are lowering the norms. I think that's unfair cause I had very tough exams in the past. Well, who knows maybe we get more stupid in the future. Of course pupils can get information on the internet. Kids go well-informed into the class but does it mean they can process the information. Science is something you have learn to understand. Some need more time than the other, it's not totally hocus pocus.

At the end I went to professor Heertje. I said, "This is not a joke but I'm studying teacher's education chemistry second grade but have a lot of passion for my subject." He asked me if I had good teachers at my school. I don't agree with my teachers a lot but they know a lot about their subject and yes, I see their eyes twinkle when they talk about their subject so there's nothing wrong with the teachers. I never said I won't do my first grade in teaching but I was planning to do that for fun when I'm in my 40ies cause I want to focus on children with learning disabilities and maybe want to teach at a school with kids with mental problems. I like to do games with my cousin Ilja. She's mentally disabled and she gets epileptic attacks sometimes so I know how to act in those situations. I've worked a lot with kids with an ADHD and dyslexia. You need a lot of patient but I really love to work with those kids cause everyone thinks those kids are stupid and have no future. It really makes me angry when I hear people say that. I like to motivate these kind of kids. And I really makes me smile when I see these kids get more self esteem and smile. I really want to become a good teacher.=)